Photo courtesy of newageselfhelp.com
When I was twelve years old my dad gave me a standard HB pencil with a pink eraser, looked me square in the face and said “sell me this pencil.” I looked at him and went “Huh? It’s a pencil dad. what are you talking about?” He repeated his statement and said “I want you to sell me this pencil”. I thought about it for a few minutes quietly to myself. Trying to think about how I could make a regular old pencil sound appealing. I cleared my throat and proceeded to talk. I spoke not about the pencil itself, but about what the pencil represented; art, communication, letters to family members far away, and writing a phone number down of a person you’d just met. I spoke for a good 15 minutes about this pencil and my dad had a twinkle in his eye as he watched his little girl using her instinctive entrepreneurial genes. He was so proud.
My dad is the reason why I am, and will always be an entrepreneur. Some days I want to kiss him. Other days I want to punch him. I will never be able to join the work force. I will never be able experience the security of paid vacations, sick days, water cooler talk, casual Fridays and pay increases. Because I am destined to live the roller coaster hell-joy-ride of being an entrepreneur. Thanks dad… I think?
This life isn’t for everyone though. It requires a sense of humour, courage, and a love of highs and lows. Growing up the child of an entrepreneur I remember days when the water got cut off, or the lights were out, or the tax man came knocking. I remember boxes of random products in the living room because they were destined for greatness. I remember listening to my dad close deals over the phone, work tirelessly on ideation, and tell our family with excitement about what he was up to. I would watch in awe as this brave man took risk after risk and made his own way in this world. Like many entrepreneurs, he did it the hard way. But it was HIS way, and he wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Now, I am a woman in my 30s. A single mom to twin 5 year old girls and 3 years into full time entrepreneurship. I have had months where I couldn’t pay my rent, months where I could pay mine and all my friends rent, and months where my stress levels were so high that I could have qualified for a nervous breakdown and been admitted to the hospital. I have learned so many lessons along the way. I have made monumental mistakes, I have stumbled, tripped, fell on my face and then picked myself up to do it all over again. I have come to appreciate my strengths and my weaknesses and know what those are. I wake up every morning not knowing how my day will go. Anything can happen and it usually will. And every month is different than the one before it. Some are great, some are bad, and some are exciting beyond belief.
But this life, it isn’t for everyone. If you don’t like to fail – it’s not for you. If you have to know what’s around every corner – not for you. If you like the predictability of a regular income… Yeah not for you. If you are risk-adverse, definitely not for you. But if you are crazy like me, love to take risks, and have big ideas that you HAVE to try because they nag you in your sleep…. Welcome aboard my friend. Welcome to crazy town!
I remember a time when people told me I was crazy for being a single mom and living this unpredictable life. People even urged me to seek the security of a full time job, where I could live a predictable, stress free life and have the comfort of a regular pay cheque. But if I had done that, what would I have taught my daughters? That it’s okay to not be who you are? It’s okay to give up on your dreams? When it gets hard, quit? Eventually the people in your life see you in your element and come to the realization that you are an entrepreneur and make peace with it and support you. Nobody would ever tell me to get a job now, because they know that I would laugh at them. Because I am an entrepreneur. Always have been. Always will be.
Being an entrepreneur means being kicked when you’re down sometimes, it means eating random cans of soup and forgotten boxes of non-perishables, and yes Mr. Noodle sometimes. It means working 16-20 hours a day for weeks on end and forgetting to shower sometimes. It means working harder and longer than you ever have before. Jumping up in the middle of the night to run to your computer with an idea because you don’t want to lose it. It means being comfortable with a complete lack of security. It means risking EVERYTHING. It means robbing Peter to pay Paul with your credit cards. It means having the balls to go out there every day and keep doing what you do because that is who you are.
And that is pretty scary for some people. And it isn’t for everyone. Some people (sensible people) like knowing they can pay their rent or mortgage each month, like knowing when their vacations will be, and like having a retirement plan in place. But thanks to my dad and that standard HB pencil, I will forever be an entrepreneur, riding the roller coaster of life.
